Any Weird Relatives?

So —  I was talking to my 90-year-old mother today about Esther’s trip to Scotland and how much she liked it. That got Mom to remembering Scotland and she told me this story.

My mum had an uncle Jimmy who married an Irish woman who did nothing but sit in the same old chair day in and day out. They had 11 kids so I guess she didn’t spend all her time in that chair! She was a huge woman and filled the chair completely. She had a little purse tucked in beside her and she never left the chair. As a little girl, it always struck me how that woman would just sit there and bark orders from that chair. I surely have had some weird relatives.

I said to Mom, “That’s a great memory. I’d like to hear more stories. Can you think of any other weird relatives you had?”

She replied, “Just Steve.”


Kissing in the Dark…

Lord Halifax, a former foreign secretary of Great Britain, once shared a railway compartment with two prim-looking spinsters. A few moments before reaching his destination the train passed through a tunnel. In the utter darkness Halifax kissed the back of his hand noisily several times.

When the train drew into the station, he rose, lifted his hat, and in a gentlemanly way said: “May I thank whichever one of you two ladies I am indebted to for the charming incident in the tunnel.”

He then beat a hasty retreat, leaving the two ladies glaring at each other. Bits & Pieces, May 27, 1993, p. 22