Category Archives: Relationships

Dealing with Dilemmas

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You know what a dilemma is, right? It’s when you are caught between two options and you must make a choice. If you choose the first option, it will cause a problem. And if you choose the second option, it will cause a different problem.

People face dilemmas all the time.

Let me give you an example: You want to take your son hunting. He’s finally old enough. It’s kind of a father-son bonding time. He’s using his grandpa’s gun. You bought him the license. He’s really excited. But your aunt Mabel died yesterday. And while the viewing is Sunday evening, the funeral service is Monday morning — the opening day of buck season. That’s a dilemma. What do you do? Do you let down your son by skimping on the hunt? Or do you let your uncle down by skipping your aunt’s funeral. No one likes to be on the horns of a dilemma.

A more serious dilemma would have been on the mind of some young men in Nazi Germany in the time of Adolph Hitler. On one hand, you want to be a patriot. And Germany is economically devastated. Plus, if you refuse to fight, it will be your neck! On the other hand, you know the Nazis are committing atrocities. You’ve seen the ghettos. You’ve heard the stories. Can you defend a government that is so evil? It’s a dilemma. What do you do?

No one likes to be caught on the horns of a dilemma. I always want the third alternative. But often, there is none.

This podcast speaks about Joseph of Arimathea’s choices and ours as well.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Humor Among the Monks…

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In the movie, The Name of the Rose, Sean Connery’s character, William, is investigating suspicious activities in a medieval abbey. While he is investigating in a room filled with monks, a mouse scares those present and they laugh at one another for squealing like little girls.

Upon hearing the laughter, an elderly blind monk, Jorge, enters the room to protest the frivolity. As a lifelong advocate of humor among the brethren, I found their dialogue strangely familiar.

Jorge: (In a foreign language) A monk should not laugh for only the fools lifts up his voice in laughter. (In English) I trust my words did not offend you, Brother William. But I heard persons laughing at laughable things. You Franciscans, however, belong to an order where merriment is viewed with indulgence.

William: Yes, it’s true. St. Francis was much disposed to laughter.

Jorge: Laughter is a devilish wind which deforms, uh, the veinements of the face and makes the man look like monkeys.

William: Monkeys do not laugh. Laughter is particular to man.

Jorge: As a sin! Christ never laughed.

William: Can we be so sure?

Jorge: There is nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did!

William: And there is nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did not. Why even the saints have been known and employed comedy — to ridicule the enemies of the faith. For example, when the pagans  plunged Saint Maurus into the boiling water, he complained that his bath was too cold. The Sultan put his hand in — scolded himself.

Jorge: A saint immersed in boiling water does not play childish tricks; he restrains his cries and suffers for the truth.

William: And yet Aristotle devoted his second book of Poetics to comedy as an instrument of truth.

Jorge: You have read this work?

William: No, of course not. It’s been lost for many centuries.

Jorge: No, it has not! It was never written! Because Providence doesn’t want futile things glorified.

William: Oh this I must contest…

Jorge: Enough! This abbey’s overshadowed by grief, yet you would intrude on our sorrow with idle banter!

William: Forgive me venerable Jorge. My remarks were truly out of place.

No commentary here. Just a realization of the eternal struggle many have reconciling humor with their faith. For a thorough treatment of this, you might want to read, The Humor of Christ by Elton Trueblood. Trueblood saved me from losing my sense of humor to the Jorges of this world.

PS: Be aware that the movie is rated R. It’s not family friendly. A scene or two took me by surprise; then I remembered that rating systems are generally accurate. Duh.

Words of Encouragement…

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Today, while preparing for a counseling session, I was reading The Hidden Value of a Man, where Smalley and Trent identify a “Gold Sword” of compassion and encouragement men need to use. The “Silver Sword” is the one men use to battle through life. The “Gold Sword” is the one they use to nurture, protect, and encourage others.

The authors wrote:

Men tend to remember for decades specific words of encouragement their fathers spoke to them. When a man makes an effort to pick up the gold sword and use it under God’s control, the world takes note. Women and children certainly take note. And the more we pick it up, the more we will shape those who love us and look to us to help define their lives. ~Smalley and Trent in The Hidden Value of a Man, p.93.

That’s truth.

I can tell you it’s truth because a memory I tend to savor is one where my father said after church one Sunday morning, “Steve, your a good preacher.”

Now, the question becomes, “How can I wield the Gold Sword in a similar way to help those around me become the men and women God wants them to be?”